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Instructor’s Guide In progress…

17 Nov

Instructor's Guide In progress...

Clever Little Book Instructor’s Guide in progress….
It’s Not About YOU!

If you expect to gain any real insight and clarity from this activity. Even some direction that would lead you to your ultimate destination, it is paramount that you understand this one thing… It’s not about you ladies. Not if your ultimate destination is a stable and honorable love relationship. One that has been well founded on trust, loyalty and reciprocity.

Now I know upon first hearing this, it may sound quite disheartening. Even unfathomable to some, that the widely coveted love relationship between a man and a woman could be about anyone other than you. I mean, whose needs could be considered more important? Whose mental and emotional state is more fragile? Who is more vulnerable, requiring protection from inner and outer attacks? And who in the entire history of mankind has ever been more alone and in need of a companion? I’m glad you asked. Let us go to the scriptures, wherein lies our answer:

Genesis 2:18-19 18. And the LORD God said, It is not good that the MAN should be alone; I will make HIM an HELP meet for him. 19. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

Genesis 2:20-22 20. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an HELP meet for him. 21. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22. And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

So we find here that in the beginning it was NOT the woman, but the MAN who was found unfulfilled and alone, in need of a companion. It was then that God said not for her but for him, “I will make him an help meet for him.” And thus began the love relationship between a man and woman. Initially for the sake of the man, NOT that of the woman.

Now ladies, I know that historically we’ve desired to get married so that we could show off our big gaudy rings, so that we could be the envy of our still single girlfriends, to plan a big lavish wedding with all the bells, whistles, tassels and trim of a fairy tale, and because all our favorite movies always end with a wedding!…but in so thinking we have been in err. Per the Bible, that whole concept is wrong.

In the days of old, a man paid a bride price to the father, and a dowry to the woman. It was required to marry and remove a woman from her parent’s home. We love to believe that these things were paid because the woman was regarded as being so valuable a possession. It makes for a wonderful story, but it’s not the reason why the dowry and bride price were paid. And remember, at that time women were seldom even allowed to speak unless instructed to. They were considered second class citizens. Not nearly as important as a man. So how valuable do you think she was thought to be really?

The woman was a source of support and income to her father’s house. Cooking, cleaning, sewing, helping with the family business and even being hired out to others and bringing that extra income into her father’s house. The groom paid the bride price to replace that source of income that his new bride had been to her father’s house. And he paid the dowry so that the woman’s future was secure in the event he ever divorced her. So that she was compensated for all the years she had cooked and cleaned, bore and reared his children and most importantly “HELPED HIM MEET,” his visions and dreams while she was living in his house. If he ever asked her to leave, the dowry went with her. Hence the phrase, “It’s cheaper to keep her…”

Now that we’re clear on that, let’s be clear on this: The primary reason any woman should be joined to a man in marriage is that she is best suited and well equipped to help that man meet the the particular tasks that GOD has given him to carryout. Point blank, period.

Ladies, the reason that a man and woman are joined in marriage is not about you. Not primarily and not most importantly either. Wives are supposed to compliment what a man is called to do with his life, and not to kick against it. She must be a source of support to help him meet the challenges of life. An asset, not solely a liability. Ladies if you are so blessed as to have a husband who is able to carry the weight of the family 100%, it does not mean you have a free ticket to go and squander your own earnings. You should be saving so that if per adventure he ever falls on hard times, you are able to keep everything going until he can position himself to pick it up again. And for those wives who are required to contribute financially to the family expenses, you have not been wronged. It is your duty, and reasonable service as a “HELP MEET.” If you don’t want to HELP the man to MEET anything, why then do you insist on being there? Know you not, that it was for THIS cause you were made? I know, rough…but right. #TeamCleverLittleBook!

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